To jump, or not to jump, that is the question

Honestly I still cannot fully believe that I really jumped from a five meter high spring board this Tuesday in the swimming pool, for the first time in my life. Yes, it was a BIG thing. It was absolutely big because I had to overcome my fear from loosing control.

Since last Friday, a topic was working inside of me. It was about letting go my fear of losing control, my fear of simply jumping to the unknown – of not being able to go back while you are in full flight. What shall I say? On Tuesday I thought: “It’s so cold today. How about spending a few hours in the sauna?” And there I was sitting in the restaurant of the swimming pool, having lunch before I went in – looking to my left to the spring board – flirting with me. And it was as if it called me: “You’re gonna jump today!” And I answered: “Cool idea – why not?”.

I swam a few length in the pool and then walked over to the lifeguard and told him that I want to jump – for the first time of my life. “Will you save me when I drown?”, I asked him. He: “No, I don’t want to get wet.”, was his kind answer and he added, “just slip through under the blockage.”

And I went over to the diving tower. Took the first steps – had to crawl under a chain that said “Closed! – Entrance not permitted”. And climbed upwards to the three meter high spring board – looking downwards to the water. The lifeguard and a teenager stood next to the pool, looking at me and pointing upwards. “Are you sure? Am I supposed to take the higher board?”, I asked by looking at them. Both of them nodded. I climbed higher. All of a sudden I noticed a school class of teenagers looking at me through the window of the entrance, all of them cheering me up. “Is this really happening?”, I asked myself. Somehow feeling a lot of confidence inside of me. And there I was, standing at the five meter spring board, looking down into the water. I stood there, checking in with me. Checking in into my inner voices. And there was nothing. So I thought, prepare yourself. So I adjusted my swimming goggles and my bathing cap – both still on me from the swimming earlier on.

And then I realized that it’s not really a jump, it’s just one step that you take into unknown territory, into a world where there is no floor under your feet. It’s no big thing – it’s just a tiny step.

My last thought before I took a step and landed in the air

And all of a sudden I was in the water. I don’t really know what happened during the flight. It felt like a shortcut – from upstairs to downstairs – from air to water – from outside to inside. I realized that there was water in my nose and that I was actually deep in the water. And I emerged.

I emerged – something else emerged. I emerged as a different person. The lifeguard and the teenager were still standing next to the pool, a bit concerned to be honest. But inside of me was just calmness and happiness. “I did it! I really did it! I jumped!” And then I realized that somehow my swimming goggles were gone and that the bathing hat nearly fell of my had. And they asked me: “Why did you look downwards? You tilted forwards during your jump.” And their question made me think – apparently I had completely wrong beliefs about jumping.

  • You are supposed to prepare yourself! – And put on bathing swimming goggles before you jump. – Completely wrong! Nothing can protect you. You are your only protection.
  • You have to see where you are going to land! – And look downwards when you jump to see the water. – Completely wrong! When you do this you will tilt forwards. Just take a step and look forwards.
  • You loose all control when you jump! – And you cannot do anything, you are just like a rocket falling downwards. – Completely wrong! When you jump you better pay attention to your inner and outer composure.
Me after my visit to the swimming pool and the first jump of my life

And after realizing all these things, I jumped again! This time from the three meter spring board. For the higher one I was too agitated. It really felt as if a whole world of beliefs crashed in itself. And I ask myself and also you:

How many things do you not do in your life due to simply wrong beliefs?

Me a few hours after the jump

I am looking forward to hearing your thoughts …

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